Dear Dumbass, I need a gift idea for my gal Lerlene.
She has more refined tastes than me and she said she'd leave my 'ape drape' wearing ass if I repeated the pork wrind/Bud Light debocle of '05. Can your wookie ass help???
Dear Ape Drape, my "wookie ass' is at your disposal(wait, that didn't sound right). Although pork wrinds are an exellent form of protein, your squeeze should be getting it from somewhere else today. That being said, women do love their chocolate. And fruit is a much healthier option than fried pig hide (i think). So, my advise to you would be to find a nice chocolate stout or porter like Rooster's or Rouge's Chocolate stouts. Combine them with a nice plate of fresh raspberries. Voila! your ass is out of hock and your cousin love may resume.