Utah Brewery Map

Monday, January 23, 2006

Never Mind

I got a letter today from two, very upset girls, that hail from SLC. They informed me that they put all of they're 'my pretty pony money' down on a Bronco win over the weekend. Little Babette (left) and Gurtrude (right) said. "Due to the overwelming logic of the formula we thought it was a sure thing." The formula that they're refering to is, beer+city=win. "This Mikey 'guy' is a piece of shit! What kind of person authors such inordinate and outrageous crap, for our young and impretionable minds?" Well my dear, I did indead put finger to keyboard. But the real "piece of shit" is my drunken comrade Jerry. Who is the true mastermind behind 'beergate'. As promised. His address has been forwared to the enraged girls.


brewgrass said...

Dear disgruntled gamblers,

I have been blamed for millions of dollars lost due to last week’s debacle in Denver. Unfortunately the Donkey's quarterback proved once again that he can't handle the pressure. We'd all be better off if he were still in AZ. It took me till early this morning to dry tears and uncurl myself from my fetal position in the corner of my closet.

I take full credit for the formula. It’s the application of the formula that let us down. User error. The first round appeared easy. West Coast brewers are in general better than the rest of this Bud/piss water country. But I am biased by the fact I haven’t had any Carolina or Pittsburg beers. There apparently is an Iron city beer better than New Belgian. There must be, the formula is perfect. Mikey (our equally beer goggled blogger) screwed up the second round. Assuming Denver had won, between New Belgian and Rouge, Rouge is the better beer. They have a greater variety of styles to choose from, and way more stability in their brewing process. Seattle would have walked all over Denver.

Back to all you lemmings. You are the ones at fault. You deserved to loose you’re precious little pennies. Didn’t anybody read the part about discovering this little equation at the bar, after several beers? And any attentive Bronco fan who’s been following the team for years knows: never bet on the Donkeys!!! And even if you saw through the foam and questioned in “The Formula”, had the Snake made it to XL, he would have cracked then. He should be sent back to AZ.

There is help for all of you. http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/
Good luck.

Try saying “beer goggled blogger” 5 times fast after each round.

brewgrass said...

And to the two little girls,

I bet if you're mom could pull herself out from under the drunk she brought home lastnight, she'd be real proud of the filthy little gamblers that she is raising. I'll see you in the pages of hustler.

mikey said...

Just to clear up a few things. I have had Iron City Beer. It's your basic can of adjunct piss. As far as screwing up the second round, New Belgium and Rouge were'nt even in the running. Neither is located in the respective cities. New Belgium is in Ft. Collins and Rouge is out of Oregon. The formula encompassed the average quality of brews from those cities. -Beer Goggled Blogger

Anonymous said...

you two primates (barely) could bring the beer drinking public to a stand still with this crap.If possible, think of us innocent, hopps swilling, contributing members to society, killing brain cells, not by consuming a flavorfull alcoholic beverage, but by reading the banter between you as husband vs husband. Though slightly entertaining, the recent contributions have awakend me continuosly through the night with sweat pouring, do you know how this kills the buzz you worked so hard to achieve?

OK, I tried to step above and overcome, but this is some funny shit and I laughed my ass off. Kudos to both of you,

My money is on Seattle

mikey said...

(sigh)Anonymous is right. This isn't a forum to discuss our reincarnated marital bliss. It's for beer stuff. I'll try to stay the course. Nah...